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THE SOUZAS
I COUNT EVERYTHING AS LOSS BECAUSE OF THE SURPASSING WORTH OF KNOWING CHRIST JESUS MY LORD (Phil 3:8)

Into the woods

7/7/2015

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I mean this title to be both metaphorical and literal. I mean it literally because we are in the piney woods of East Texas again. Can I get a yeehaw and an amen?? The cicadas and crickets are SO LOUD at night, and I LOVE it! We came back to Mt. Pleasant for the summer to soak up family, friends, sun, and to try and get some rest before we head out to Brazil in less than 7 weeks!! Thanks to all of you who prayed for our trip down from MN.  It truly was a great trip down, maybe the best on record so far.  The Lord heard you all!! 

I also mean the title metaphorically. Lately, life has felt like tromping through the woods: full of thorns and creepy bugs, spider webs in the face, and limited ability to see far in front of you, all the while filled with beautiful sights, sounds, and smells. You know what I mean…all the yucky and good mixed together? I feel like my life is on repeat. Didn’t I just write that we had a big move coming up?? And didn’t I just write what I’m about to write again, that we have been so sick? Our first month in TX was something akin to insanity. There was so much joy mixed with so much sad, busy, and sick and all the emotions in between. We’ve traveled to see family, said good-bye to a beloved sister and family, saw a niece married, and played on the beach with gusto (and with a mad crazy virus that followed us home and lingered an unfavorable extra week). We’ve shot fireworks, mended friendships, gone to work and meetings, done copious amounts of laundry, cried a lot, and laughed a lot. To say we’ve felt out of sorts is an understatement. I would like to believe that I was not held responsible for all my shortcomings in this last month, but alas, I am.

However, the faithfulness of God has held firm for me and my family. He has been here in my home and in my heart when my mind and faculties weren’t (I was so sick I can’t remember a portion of a weekend!!). There is an ebb and flow to life. I feel we have been in a pulsing flow of chaos, but I can feel the ebb coming, the receding back of the chaos into a place of rest and peace. Not that life is somehow getting less busy or sad, or happier in circumstance (although I would like to shout with joy that we are NOT SICK anymore). But rather some of the things I have always known about God: His sovereignty over life, His nearness in trials, His ready wing to draw me in and shelter me in His love, His word so strong and solid to stand on; all of these He has pushed from my head deeper into my heart. This is rest and peace in Christ, not just knowing Him with your head, but with your heart. So in essence, I feel my faith is more real than ever before and how glorious a feeling that is. When you feel your faith growing, doesn’t it make you happy? Like all the trouble of your trials did something worthwhile in you while they raged? I think, at least in part, that is why the Proverbs 31 woman laughs at the days to come. She knows that up ahead are days of trial and pain as well as many joys. But she has confidence in her God to make everything useful for her faith in Him and it makes her heart glad to the point of laughing to know how much better she will know Him and love Him. There have been times this summer that I have asked God, why THIS summer? Couldn’t we have had a rest from trials and more sunshiny moments? But God has had bigger things to do in my life to prepare me for the days ahead. He’s had to remind me that this Christianity thing isn’t just a "thing" for me.  It isn’t just how I was raised. It’s more real than that. It’s True Life. Jesus really is all there is when the life gets stripped down to the bare bones. This isn't my first time around this block, but maybe my biggest time around. Like I said, my life is on repeat. I am sure you all would agree that I needed to be reminded of this before I leave the only country I’ve ever known and my family, my friends, and my stuff…not to mention the English language and cheddar cheese (because really, who can live a full life without it??).

So, all in all I am very grateful. Daniel has been leading our family in being thankful in prayer. The Lord has taken me a step farther in my daily life and in my parenting in this area. Before I let myself utter a complaint or criticism, I try to think of at least one or two things I’m thankful for in the thing I’m about to criticize or complain about. Otherwise I feel the darkness creeping in. How true God’s word is. Romans 1:21, “For although they knew God, they did not honor him as God or GIVE THANKS to him, but became futile in their thinking, and their foolish hearts were darkened” (Emphasis mine). Gratitude fights against a heart that would be/will be darkened by sinfulness without it. It has been true for me. The practice of giving thanks to God has been light-giving and has anchored me to the Rock. I am learning, by small degrees, to laugh at the days to come because I see Him there, up ahead, waiting with pleasures forevermore at His right hand. 



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The kids with my folks. This was the about the 100th shot. Goodness.
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Claire with my Granny. My Dad's mom. She's one of the most loving ladies I know!!
PictureThanks to the generosity of friends, we got to take our first family vacation. It was the kid's first time to see the ocean! And, go ahead, you can laugh at my sunscreen skills. At least you know I used some! :)

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Our attempt at a jumping picture. So much laughing!!!
PictureThese two cousins love each other, and love mischief together. Here they are trying to launch a worm into the air with a water gun. :)

PicturePlayin' in the crick...

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And tractor ridin'...
PictureDaniel with his mom, dad and siblings. Man, I love these people.

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My Grandpa and Gwen, ONE of my sisters and her family, my mom and dad and us.
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My sister Kelsey. Not getting nearly enough time with this one, but I'm THANKFUL for the time I've had.
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BB guns off the deck. Don't worry, we were safe. :)
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60 Days and counting!

4/1/2015

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This is a picture of, well, nothing, but I wanted to show you guys how empty it's getting around here!
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This is Josiah’s class at RiverTree this year. This was just after their “The Lion, The Witch and The Wardrobe” puppet show. They did so well, and Josiah was Peter and had a couple of narrator parts. And, I promise I fixed the boy’s hair, even though it didn’t last long. :)
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Here is Josiah and Claire making their paper chain to count down the days until we move to TX and in the back ground you can see our borrowed couch from loving friends!!
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Our new favorite past time! Puzzles!
It’s getting real people!! We have 60 days until we move back to Mount Pleasant, TX for a few months before the BIG move to Brazil. To say we are getting excited is an understatement!!  The kids made a paper chain to count down the days until they get to be with family and friends in TX.  They can’t wait to swim, and camp, and fish, and generally be outside all day! 

My rock star hubby gave me a weekend away with my sisters and mom for my mom’s birthday! It was incredibly good for my heart and we had a BLAST.  We did the Painting with a Twist thing, got massages, and ate yummy food all weekend.  It was total bliss. I’m not usually the kind of mom that needs regular breaks from my kids to stay sane, but I tell you what, I see why people do!  I came back feeling refreshed and energized and ready to pull up the sleeves and get to work.  And, it couldn’t have come at a better time, with D leaving for 8 days to Brazil in just a few days.  The Lord knew I would need that time of fellowship and relaxation to gear up for the long haul. Especially since I came home to FIVE sick kiddos and a sick hubster!! SNOT everywhere!

We have begun the process of selling all our stuff!  We were, until recently, without all our couches, coffee tables and a few other things.  Some sweet friends let us borrow a couch when they found out we were on bean bags! :) It was so funny seeing the kids faces as they woke up to an empty house! They were almost as excited as if we had gotten NEW couches! Seeing the emptying house has made us all feel the reality of the situation.  One good thing is it has added a lot of space for the kids to play, and excitement and readiness for our adventure.

Two weeks ago we had our final GO Team (Global Outreach) interview.  It was more intense than I anticipated, but we felt very loved. We got the go-ahead and were officially appointed as Global Partners (what our church calls missionaries) with our primary sending church, Bethlehem Baptist Church here in MN.  We could NOT be more honored to represent this church in Brazil and receive their support.  We also have the privilege to partner with other churches like Trinity Baptist Church and Calvary Chapel in Mt. Pleasant, TX; as well as Briarwood in Birmingham, AL. We are so thankful for such a deep sending base of churches who see our vision for the church in Brazil and who are willing to “hold the ropes” for us as we go.

Thankfully, we are approaching 80% of our support-raising goal.  That means we still need a few more people who could give 25$, 50$, or 100$ (or more!) a month to help us reach our monthly needs.  We have to get to at least 90% before we can even buy our tickets, etc...  If you think the Lord is leading you to give to our mission, please consider at least pledging now.  You don’t have to start giving until we leave, if you don’t want.  Just click the “Give” tab at the top of the page and you will be redirected to our sending agency. THANK YOU to all who have given and are giving!!  God is using you for His glory!

As we get closer and closer to the biggest change of my life, you can imagine that my excitement and worries are in a constant battle.  I am more excited about this move than I have been yet, and still I have my days, well nights really, of worry. We still haven’t decided about schooling for the kids, where we will live, how or IF we should ship stuff, and will I somehow ruin my kids if they don’t live next to their grandparents? I am so thankful when the morning comes. Somehow when I worry it tends to be in the night, and God is always so faithful to calm my fears and worries in the morning in His word. After a particularly difficult night of worry, the Lord met me with Psalm 57 in the morning. Here it is:

Be merciful to me, O God, be merciful to me,

for in you my soul takes refuge;

in the shadow of your wings I will take refuge,

till the storms of destruction pass by.

I cry out to God Most High,

to God who fulfills his purpose for me.

He will send from heaven and save me;

he will put to shame him who tramples on me. Selah

God will send out his steadfast love and his faithfulness!

My soul is in the midst of lions;

I lie down amid fiery beasts--

the children of man, whose teeth are spears and arrows,

whose tongues are sharp swords.

Be exalted, O God, above the heavens!

Let your glory be over all the earth!

They set a net for my steps;

my soul was bowed down.

They dug a pit in my way,

but they have fallen into it themselves. Selah

My heart is steadfast, O God,

my heart is steadfast!

I will sing and make melody!

Awake, my glory!

Awake, O harp and lyre!

I will awake the dawn!

I will give thanks to you, O Lord, among the peoples;

I will sing praises to you among the nations.

For your steadfast love is great to the heavens,

your faithfulness to the clouds.

Be exalted, O God, above the heavens!

Let your glory be over all the earth!

I love it that the psalmist’s cries for mercy are met with the Lord sending out steadfast love and faithfulness and ends with the psalmist giving thanks AMONG THE PEOPLES and a declaration that the Lord’s glory be over all the earth.  I’m sure you can imagine the strength that was given to my soul.  As I cry to the Lord he meets me with steadfast love and that love makes me want to go to the nations, and for me Brazil.  The love we receive from the Lord is not only for our good but for us to overflow into the nations.

I’m sorry this blog is so long. I guess that’s the point of blogging more frequently. :)  Here are a few pictures of the past few months.

Thanks for reading and following along as we have this crazy adventure! Many thanks to those of you who have seen the same vision we have and are partnering with us!!  It is a JOY to serve the Lord with gladness!

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Support UPDATE and visual

1/16/2015

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We recently sent a newsletter update to friends, family, and supporters (by the way, if you want to sign up for our newsletter, click here). In it, we expressed our continued amazement at God's provision! In our first newsletter, we rejoiced that God had provided 17.5% of our monthly needs. That number has more than doubled since then, and we are now at 50% of our monthly needs!! We are unbelievably humbled by the way many of you have come around us. We cannot thank you enough.

Having said that, we still lack approximately 50%. So what might it look like for us to reach our monthly support goal? For you visual learners, below is a graphic for one way we could possibly get there. Might you consider partnering with us?

For the joy of all peoples through Jesus Christ...
Daniel & Jessica


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Welcome...and Big news!!

9/7/2014

6 Comments

 
Welcome to the new blog and our new adventures!  Daniel and I have truly enjoyed our last three years in Minneapolis, Minnesota, winters not withstanding. :) We have one year left of seminary to go before WE MOVE TO BRAZIL!!! Some of you know our story already, but I would love to share with those of you who do not.  

When we first came to MN and seminary, we had no idea what the Lord was doing with us.  Everything was just so unexpected and so very different from where we saw our lives heading.  I imagined we would raise our little family in our little home town and live a very quiet life loving Jesus and His church in our little corner of the world.  And, then the call to seminary came. We spent the next three years blind to what was the next step for us.  Gently the Lord opened our hearts to do "whatever was next", and that included being open to staying in MN (shocking, right?).  Then in March 2014, we had a meeting with a couple who were recruiting a pastor for a small church seeking revitalization in Belo Horizonte, Brazil.  The weekend of the meeting, I "jokingly" told Daniel that we should cancel the meeting because we would only be wasting their time; we were going to say no anyway, right?  Daniel laughed and agreed, but still we went.  During our conversation that night over dinner, I cannot tell you what happened to me.  In fact, I kept thinking, I need to go the bathroom, I'm having some kind of a heart attack.  My heart was pounding so hard with excitement and I had expected the very opposite thing to be happening - like maybe falling asleep at the table (Levi was only three months old).  We listened to them talk about all the amazing things God had done during their 15 year ministry in Belo, and were totally drawn in.  I hope all of you at some point feel like we felt that night. We both got in the car to come home and looked at each other and said, well, if we had to sign on the dotted line tonight we would.  I was shocked to the core. Over the next several months, it showed too.  I was full of doubt and fear.  Clarity came through prayer, seeking council, the Word of God, and the considering of several other options.  One Saturday after an online meeting with the Belo search committee, Daniel just looked at me and said, "this feels so right," and I agreed.  After telling our family and friends, the doubts have been ebbing and flowing, but mostly ebbing.  Each day God keeps showing me more and more of His goodness. 

I've been reading over some of my old blog posts and one thing that I say in almost every post is how good God has been to us.  It is still true, even if He keeps pushing me past myself and my comfort zone to find that there is more of Him to be had and another step further into the unknown that is magnificently held firm by the Rock of Our Salvation.  I joke with my friends that Minnesota never looked so good now that the call is to leave it and move to Brazil.  Not that Brazil is a scary place, in fact it's beautiful and fun and so very delicious, but it is very far from what and who I know.  I mean, guys, I never lived outside of TEXAS until Minnesota!!  My Texans will understand just how big a deal that is. And, maybe that is the definition of "the good" of God.  That he take us past ourselves to find more of Him.  Isn't that how we came to believe in Christ in the first place?  "But God, being rich in mercy, because of the great love with which he loved us, even when we were dead in our trespasses, made us alive together with Christ—by grace you have been saved—and raised us up with him and seated us with him in the heavenly places in Christ Jesus" (Ephesians 2:2-6 ESV).  Yeah, we were dead and HE made us alive to see him, to know him, to believe in him, to follow him; that sounds like the definition of good to me.  And what's great is that he keeps being that kind of "good". Even when I all but stomped my foot and said 'no' to Brazil.  BUT GOD helped keep my willfulness in check and once again pushed me past myself into a new place of dependence on Him, and truthfully, I needed it more than I knew. Complacency happens so quickly for me. I get to my new place, find my little corner in it, and sit down ready to stay put. BUT GOD, keeps coming into my little corner and grabbing my hand and asking if I would like a tour of His glory.  And what can a girl say to such gentle wooing except, "oh, yes, please - I like my corner, but I like you better." That is where I find myself these days.  Being reminded how much I truly love Jesus better.  Better than my comfort, better than being close to family, better than the idea of Daniel pursuing business, better than myself.

I pray that as you finish reading this blog that your heart is pounding a little harder to your surprise.  Maybe God is asking you to step out of your comfort zone to do or say or be something different than what you are now.  A missionary - to go where you never would have gone before? A financial supporter - where you would have never been willing to give before? A job transfer? Into ministry? To not walk into the abortion clinic?  To ask for help when you've been unwilling to? Or maybe your heart is pounding and you don't know why.  Do you KNOW Jesus, not just ABOUT him?  Stop and pray and ask Him.  He offers you the same gentle wooing hand to experience His glory and love.  

Daniel and I would love for you to be a part of our story, to be a part of our ministry, to watch with us as we watch the work of The Lord unfold in Brazil.  If you want to partner with us, click on the "PARTNER" page from our home page and see how!
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    Daniel and Jessica live in the Twin Cities, MN, where Daniel attends Bethlehem College & Seminary and Jessica stays home with their 5 kiddos and does LOTS of laundry. :)


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